I recently took one of my daughters on a date night. Justin and I rotate taking them out individually. That night she shared something about me that was hard to hear. I was so tempted to immediately justify myself. Not good.
But then God’s word came to me in that moment. “He opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” And, “Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you.” I needed to be humbled. I had a choice: dig in or listen.
I felt a gentle inward whisper: Kerrie, listen. Seek understanding. Ask questions.
Asking questions opened my eyes and softened my heart. I observed her body language & demeanor change. When I truly listened and leaned in she became more at ease. She shared more detail.
Now the hard part—-how to change.
When you’ve established patterns that are second nature, and someone brings them to your attention, changing your actions can feel like pushing a boulder up a hill. Not everything she shared with me that evening was 100% accurate but the essence of it was. And it was enough for me to take it seriously.
God reminded me of the cost of humility in that conversation. Humility means many things, not the least of which is saying, “I was wrong. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I want to change.” It comes at a cost; letting pride go.
Humility is not turning it back on the other person, blaming them, or making excuses. I had to own my sin and the effects it was clearly having on my precious daughter.
Thank God for grace. Thank God for her courage. Thank God she felt safe to tell me. And thank God that change does not come by trying harder. Good grief, we’d all be doomed.
Change comes only through the power of the gospel of Jesus. Reminding myself of who I am:; A blood-bought sinner and child of God. Only when I think on the magnitude of what Christ has done can I open myself up to real and lasting change. The blood of Jesus is not generic but specific to my sins and failures.
He’s able.
Awareness came through my little girl being open with me. Change has to come by trusting in the gospel over and over again. Believing God’s promises. Asking for help. Then moving towards the one I have sinned against in love. Altering my behavior by God’s grace.
Incremental change. One day at a time.
Always while reminding myself of the timeless truth that brings real change in my life. The word of the truth, the gospel, which has come to me, as indeed in the whole world it is bearing fruit and increasing—as it also does among me, since the day I heard it and understood the grace of God in truth… Colossians 1:5-6
Humility made me happy. Not at first. At first it was hard, like really hard. But I see now it was his kindness. Change is God’s agenda for my life, not stagnation. He offers me holiness and happiness at the price of relinquishing my pride.
Thankful for him working and continuing to work through that conversation with my sweet little girl. I needed to be humbled to be truly happy. Because when I walk with him, it’s always better.
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