Too often I am barely through the door when my eyes bee line toward the visual pandemonium in my house. The mess. The chaos. What everyone didn’t do. I chirp, bark, holler, correct, start sailing into them.
Because he loves me, God always has a way of humbling and dealing with my anger at inconvenience. Like when I am huffing at the driver in front of me for swerving; “Another fool on their phone!” But as I shoot dagger eyes, I look over and see a little old man, cute as a button, hunched over the steering wheel, smiling away. I feel like an idiot.
Sometimes though, you are an idiot in front of your whole family. Not long ago, I was yet again sailing into corrective mode after walking in the door when my youngest said, “Mommy, can I have a hug?” Ugh. My heart. It was an opportunity to own it. To say sorry. Humble myself. Snap out of my tirade. Learn again from my children.
What do you see when you cross your own threshold? Do you see people or do you look past them? Do you see memories or messes? Do you see opportunities to calmly come alongside or frustrations to deal with? Do you calm the chaos or add more chaos?
If you feel you are in this cycle and discouraged about it, remember: You are never stuck. You do NOT need to respond the same way over and over.
I know when I am in this fight, I need a jolt to reorient my thinking and my heart. I need perspective.
And as a Christian, the greatest way to gain perspective is to know everything is going to be OK. Deep breath. The house, the mess, the “fill in the blank” is not the most important thing in the world. (Though it feels like it in the moment).
One of the beautiful gifts of Jesus Christ entering into our sin, pain, and frustrations is that he essentially is making and will make everything OK. For our greatest problem-sin yes. But also to give us everything else we need for life and godliness. Christianity offers a better perspective than any the world can give. Forgiveness and grace. And also power to fight and change.
The culture’s love says: Be a calm parent and loving to your family to the degree that they are doing what they are supposed to be doing. To the degree that they’ve earned it and it’s convenient. Transactional.
Gospel love says: I promise to be what I should be whether you are being what you should be or not. I will be faithful no matter the circumstance. Even when you haven’t earned it and it’s inconvenient. Covenantal.
The love we want to strive for is one way love. Gospel love. Faithful, binding, enduring. Whether the house is a disaster or not. Whether we feel like it or not. Whether this person does what they are suppose to do or not. We choose to love. That’s the secret of true love. And where you will find true joy.
You have the power to step over the mess, embrace your family and say, “I’m so happy to see you guys. I love you.”
You truly can smile, hug, love, stay, listen, sit, and embrace.
Try this first.
Then…fine. Go ahead and tidy up.
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