I don’t like getting social interactions wrong and I don’t like awkward situations.
Have you ever left a conversation with your mind rolling over what you said? Why did I say that? I feel like such an idiot. Or maybe you’re thinking about the other person-Why did she respond that way? Seemed like an overreaction. Am I reading this correctly or am I way off? Nagging, nagging, feeling in your stomach. Justifying yourself. I meant well, I was trying. What is their deal? Or perhaps feeling uneasy. I wish I could go back and re do that one.
This week I attended an event with about 50 people. Growing up in a big Irish/Greek family, I am accustomed to mixing it up and chatting in big groups and feeling pretty comfortable with it. Unfortunately, a couple of these mini conversations did not go well. And as I was driving home, it really bothered me. In one conversation I was certainly mistreated by one person and with another I felt regret over a couple of comments I made. As I drove home, I decided to call those two people. Make sure there was no misunderstanding, make sure we were at peace. By God’s grace they responded really well.
God is teaching me that when someone mistreats me or opposes me, my instinctive reaction is to either justify myself or to shut down. This time I shut down. The two social interactions really discouraged me, because deep down I felt I had failed and looked awkward. I felt defeated and anxious.
But grace intervened in that moment on my drive home. The gospel provided a way out of my downward spiral. Remembering Jesus’ grace towards me at the cross, replaced my blinding self-absorption with a liberating desire to make it right. So I picked up the phone and made two phone calls.
Relief. Burden lifted greatly. Peace in my heart restored. Humbled by being mistreated. Growth in discernment because I had messed it up.
I hope my two phone calls shined attention to the goodness and power of God. Drawing on his mercy and strength compelled me to press the call button. It’s really the only explanation.
Do you need to call someone today too? 🙂
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